Thoughts of My Love
by mysterious-muse
Summary: (Journey)Sam has lost her baby,and she needs someone to comfort her. Maybe Jason,who still has feelings for Courtney. Love triangle. More characters will come in later. Plz,r&r![complete]
1. chapter 1

**Thoughts of My Love**

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: No,I don't own any of the characters in GH.**

**A/N: I hope you all enjoy this story. Please,review after you read. Thanks and enjoy!**

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Jason was walking to his penthouse when he saw Courtney exiting Sonny and Carly's.

"Hey," Courtney said,walking up to him.

"Hey," Jason said. What are you doing here?"

"I was helping Carly pack some of her things," she said.

"Why,what's wrong?" he asked.

"They didn't tell you?" she asked. Sonny told Carly it was over and just walked out."

""Uh,I've got to go find Sonny," he said.

He locked his door back,and went off to find Sonny. Courtney watched Jason leave,and then left herself. As Courtney was walking to 'The Cellar' she saw Sam sitting on a bench. Carly had told her that Sam's baby had died,so she decided to go over and talk to her.

"Hey Sam," Courtney said,"mind if I sit down?"

Sam shook her head,and Courtney sat down beside her.

"Carly told me about the baby," Courtney said,"I'm really sorry. I know how it feels to lose a child,too."

"You?" Sam asked. She was a little puzzled by what Courtney had said. She knew that Courtney _had _lost her baby because Jason told her,but she never acctually knew _how _she lost it.

"Yeah," Courtney said. It was Jason's and mine. He didn't even know I was pregnant until the baby was gone. That's one of the reason's why I can't have children now."

"I'm sorry," Sam said. You know,I was looking foward to having a baby of my own. I was scared to death,but I really wanted her. I watched tapes and read books,but I guess,in the end,it was all for nothing."

"No," Courtney said,"it wasn't all for nothing. If you ever get pregnant again,you'll already know everything you need to know."

"But how do I know the same thing won't happen again?" Sam asked,tears filling her eyes.

"You don't," Courtney said. You just have to believe that it won't. You just have to trust that your baby will be okay."

Courtney turned away from Sam to wipe a tear from her cheek that had fallen. She stood up and glanced at Sam who was crying openly now.

"Jason would have took very good care of your baby," Courtney said. That's one thing you'll never have to worry about."

After those words,Courtney went down to 'The Cellar' to join Jax. She found him sitting at a table next to the bar. She fixed her makeup and went over to join him.

"Hey," Jax said,"where have you been?"

"I,uh,ran into Sam on my way here," she said.

"How's she doing?" he asked.

"Not so good," she said. She feels really hurt right now because of her loss."

"Yeah,we'll just have to give her some time to herself," he said.

Courtney shook her head in agreement and started to sip shampain.

**Meanwhile**

Jason had been looking everywhere for Sonny. He finally found him sitting down by the pier. He quickly walked over to Sonny.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Carly split up?" he asked.

Sonny turned around and looked at Jason.

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**A/N: Well,please tell me what you think!!!**


	2. chapter 2

**Thoughts of My Love**

**Chapter 2**

**A/N:** **Thank you guys for all of your reviews. They were really nice. Well,here's the next chapter,enjoy!**

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"I didn't think you needed to know," Sonny said,standing up to meet Jason.

"Sonny,I _need_ to know these things," Jason said. How else am I gonna know how to protect her and the boys?"

"Look," Sonny said,"even though it's probably over between me & Carly,you can still protect my children."

"Do you really think Carly is gonna let me protect her and the kids now that you've split up?" Jason asked. Because I don't."

"We will talk about this later," Sonny said. Right now I have to go check on my other child,Kritina,in the hospital."

After Sonny had spoken,he left;Jason did the same. Jason then went back to his hime. When he found the door was unlocked,he knew Sam was there. When he entered,he layed his coat on the couch,and was about to sit down when he heard Sam scream. He then rushed up to her room. Sam was having a nightmare.

"No," she screamed,"don't take my baby!"

"Sam,Sam!" Jason yelled,"wake up!"

Sam slowly opened her tear filled eyes and looked up at Jason.

"Jason," she said,"they took my baby from me."

"No," he said,"you were just dreaming."

"No,Jason,I wasn't," she said,"they _did_ take my baby."

**Meanwhile**

Carly,Michael,and Morgan were carrying their things into the new house that Durrant had bought them. Carly looked around the place and a flood of memories came back. She sat Morgan down on the floor and began to remove the sheets from the furniture. As soon as she got finished the doorbell rang. She went to answer after she sat down the sheets. When she opened the door she saw Lorenzo.

"Hi,Carly,'' Lorenzo said.

"I really don't want to talk to you right now," she said.

"I know,but this is really important," he said.

"I have to unpack my things," she said. I am going through a _very _difficult time right now,and I do not need you to make it worse."

"Either you talk to me now,or I'll come back later," he said.

"You don't give up,do you?" she asked.

"No,I don't," he said.

"Fine," she said,"but this had better be important."

Carly and Lorenzo went outside to the front yard to talk.

**Meanwhile**

"What do you mean they took your baby?" Jason asked.

"The angels," she said,"they took my baby with them."

Jason was shocked by Sam's words. She was crying hysterically. Jason sat down by Sam and wiped the tears from her eyes. He didn't know what to say,so he pulled her into a tight embace. She soflty cried into his shoulder. After she had stopped crying,Jason gently layed her down so she go back to sleep. Jason then grabbed his coat and went out again.

**Pier**

Jason was walking down the pier when he saw Courtney walk up. He had left to look for her,so he ran over to her.

"Courtney," he called.

"Hey,Jason,what's up?" she asked.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure," she said,"what about?"

"About,our baby," he said.

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**A/N: So,what did you think? Please drop a line and tell me!**


	3. chapter 3

**Thoughts of My Love**

**Chapter 3**

**A/N: You guys are giving me such great feed back. Thanks and enjoy! PS.I don't knoe yet if it should be a Journey or a Jasam,so tell me what you think in your reviews!!**

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"What do you mean?" Courtney asked.

"How did our baby die?" Jason asked.

Courtney couldn't speak. She felt her heart sink to her stomach. She _really_ didn't want to talk about their baby after Sam's had just died. But when she looked into his eyes,she knew he wanted and needed to know.

"After Lorenzo's brother took my prisoner..." she said,almost in a whisper.

"What happened?" he asked. Jason could feel his heart breaking,and he knew this was hurting Courtney;but it was hurting him,too.

"When I jumped out of the boat," she said,starting to cry,"the baby..." she couldn't bare to finish,but Jason knew the rest.

Courtney sarted to cry uncontrolably,and Jason wanted to help ease her pain. He was feeling it,too. He stepped a little closer to her,and pulled her into a light,yet caring hug. Courtney cried softly in his arms. She felt protected in his embrace,but she loved Jax now. And she knew he loved Sam.

**Meanwhile**

Carly and Lorenzo were standing in front of her car in the front yard of her new home.

"What was so important that you just had to talk to me?" she asked.

"Carly," he said,"you know I have strong feelings for you,and I'm not going to hide it. I want to be with you."

"Lorenzo," she said,"we've been over this. Sonny and I _may_ not make it through this,but that does not mean that I'm going to run back into your arms."

"I'm well aware of that," he said," But who is going to help you raise Michael and Morgan?"

"I am very capable of raising them by myself," she said. Now,if you don't mind,please leave."

She then walked back into the house to help Michael and Morgan unpack their things;and Lorenzo left.

**Meanwhile**

Nikolas and Emily were sitting on the couch in their home. They were talking and making plans for their upcoming wedding.

"I think we should do a white and blue wedding," Emily said.

"Blue?" Nikolas asked. Whatever happened to just white weddings?"

"I want our wedding to be colorful," she said. And I want candles,and flowers,and roses...."

"Wow,slow down," he said,"we have plenty of time to get married."

"I know," she said,"but I want our wedding to be perfect."

"And it will be," he said,kissing her gently on the forehead.

"Well,what should we do since we're no longer planning at the moment?" she asked.

"Well," he said,"I have an idea." He then kissed her deeply.

**Meanwhile**

Jason loosened his grip around Courtney. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at Jason. She could tell that it was hard for him to hear what really happened to their baby,but he did need to know.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was pregnant," she said.

"You did what you thought was right," he said,"no one can blame you for that."

"Do you ever regret the fact that our baby didn't make it?" she asked.

"Everyday," he said,"but,at least,you survived. I've got to go check on Sam;I guess I'll see you around?"

Courtney shook her head,and he went home to check on Sam. When he got there he saw Sam pacing the floor.

"Sam,what are you doing up?" he asked.

"Jason," she said,"I want to have another baby."

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**A/N: Tell me what you thought,and don't forget to tell me if I should do a Jasam or Journey!! You decide it & I write it!**


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Hi guys,sorry I haven't updated in two days,but I'm sick right now. I will update when I can wich will hopefully be soon. Most of you guys want a Journey so here's what I'm going to do. I think I'll make this one a Journey,BUT I'll write another story after this one that's COMPLETELY Jasam. I hope all of you Jasam fans still read the rest,but if you don't that's okay. Just be sure you look out for my next story for GH wich will totally be a Jasam! And thank you guys for **ALL** of you wonderful reviews,and I hope you all read the rest of 'Thoughts of My Love.'


	5. chapter 4

**Thoughts of My Love**

**Chapter 4**

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"What do you mean you want to have another baby?" Jason asked. Sam,you just lost _your_ baby."

"I know," Sam said,"but I can't stand the fact that my first child is dead."

"I know,Sam,but having another child won't help the pain go away," he said.

"Yes,it will," she said.

"No it won't!" he said. The pain of loosing your child won't go away by having another one!"

"How do you know?" she asked. You never even had another baby!"

After Sam had said that,she remembered what Courtney had told her. Jason turned from Sam and started to walk out when Sam stopped him.

"Wait,Jason," she said,"I never should have said that;I'm sorry."

"Look,Sam,I know you miss your little girl,but having another baby won't take that away," he said.

"Jason I don't know what to do," she said,"I never even got to see my child. How do you _think_ I should react?"

"I don't know what to tell you Sam,but having another child right now is not the solution," he said.

"Neither is staying here," she said.

**Meanwhile**

Lorenzo went back to his home after Carly technically threw him out. When he got there,he found Louis sitting on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" he asked,setting down his coat.

"I came here to see you," she said. How did the conversation with you and Carly go?"

"Well,she literally kicked me out when I tried to tell her how I felt," he said.

"Good," she said.

**Meanwhile**

Nikolas and Emily were lying in bed,cuddled together. They had the fireplace lit and candles were burning all around them. They weren't talking,but they knew they loved each other and they wanted to be together. After a while they got out of bed and got dressed.

"I'm gonna got to the hospital and check on Kristina," Emily said.

"What,you're not gonna stay and have a romantic dinner with me?" Nikolas asked,in a playful,non serious voice of course.

"I would if I could,but I just want to make sure she's okay," she said.

"Okay," he said,"just be careful."

"I will," she said,and she soon left for the hospital.

**Meanwhile**

"What do you mean you can't stay here?" Jason asked.

"Jason,I mean I can't stay here," Sam said,"not with Sonny across the hall. He is a constant reminder of what I lost."

"Sam..." he began,but was interrupted by Sam.

"Jason,I know you cared about my baby,and maybe you cared about me,but staying here won't help me heal," she said.

"But," he began,"your baby is barried here."

"I know," she said,"I'll come and visit once in a while."

"You know Sonny's gonna be furious when he finds out you're gone," he said.

"Sonny has too much on his plate right now," she said,"I think I'll be the least of his worries."

"I'll miss you,"he said,"but if you want to go,I won't stop you."

"Thank you," she said,"but I want you to do something for me."

"Sure," he said,"what is it?"

"I want you to admitt to Courtney that you still love her."

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**AN: I might be sick,but I had to give you guys another chapter. Tell me what you think!**


	6. chapter 5

**Thoughts of My Love**

**Chapter 5**

**AN:I wanted to answer Liz's question about if I liked Jasam. Yes,I like Jasam & Journey,so it's easy to write and read Journeys and Jasams. Hope you read more!**

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Jason stared into Sam's eyes. He didn't know how to respond to that. How could Sam ask him to admitt his feelings for Courtney?

"Sam," Jason sarted,"what do you mean?"

"I know you still love her," she said. I see it in your eyes every time you look at her,and I know she loves you,too."

"Sam,she's with Jax now," Jason said,"and we're divorced anyway."

"Jason," she said,"you can hide behind your divorce all you want,but,if you don't tell her how you feel,you'll lose her forever."

**Meanwhile**

"It's a good thing that the woman I love shut me down without even a second thought?" Lorenzo asked.

"No," Louis said,"but now you have the oppertunity to see other people."

"Yeah,like who?" he asked.

"Me," she said.

**Meanwhile**

Emily was at the hospital walking to Kristina's room. When she got to her room,she saw Alexis and Ric talking to her. So,Emily quietly walked into Kristina's room.

"Hey," Emily said,"how's she doing?"

"Better," Alexis said,"but she's still very weak."

"I'm sure she'll be better soon," Emily said. Um,I'd better go and let Kristina rest."

Emily said a quick good-bye to everyone and left the hospital.

**Meanwhile**

"You?" Lorenzo asked.

"Yeah," Louis said. I mean,Carly will always love Sonny,so why should you have the chance to love someone else?"

Lorenzo walked passed Louis and went to get a drink. He had his back turned for a few minutes,and when he turned around Louis was lying on the couch with only a blanket covering her.

**Meanwhile**

"I'm not hiding behind my divorce," Jason said. Courtney's with Jax."

"Yes,but that doesn't mean she loves him," Sam said.Listen,I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't think she loved you."

"Where is this coming from?" he asked.

"When my baby was alive,she gave me a whole new perspective on life," she began. And she made me see things I once was blinded to. Jason,you have been so good to me,and I hate leaving you like this,but,if I don't,you and Courtney will never be together."

"What makes you so sure she wants me back?" he asked.

"Like I said,I can see it in her eyes," she said. Do you love her?"

"Yeah," he said,almost in a whisper.

"Then tell her you love her," Sam said.

"What...what if she doesn't feel the same?" he asked.

"You'll never know if you don't tell her," she said. Um,I'm going to pack my things,and then I'll,leave for a while."

"Do you need some help?" he asked.

"No," Sam said,"all I need you to do is go find Courtney."

He shook his head and went off to find Courtney.

**The Pier**

As Jason was walking along the pier,looking for Courtney,he found her sitting on a bench,staring down at the water. He knew he loved her,and,if he wanted her,he had to tell her. So he walked over to her.

"Hey," Jason said.

"Hey,Jason," Courtney said,standing up.

"I have to tell you something," Jason said.

"Sure,what is it?" she asked.

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**AN: Well,what do you think?**


	7. chapter 6

**Thoughts of My Love**

**Chapter 6**

**AN: Well,this is the last chapter. Thank you guys for the awsome reviews and I hope you've all enjoyed Thoughts of My Love! Enjoy!**

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"What are you doing?" Lorenzo asked.

"Giving you something real to hold on to," Louis said.

She wrapped the blanket around her and walked over to Lorenzo. She then kissed him,and,instead of pulling away,Lorenzo deepened the kiss. And soon they gently fell to the floor.

**Meanwhile**

Emily went back home to find the lights dimmed,candles lit,and a beautiful,romantic dinner set up for two in the living room. She smiled and put her things on the couch. The only thing that was missing was her prince,Nikolas. She started to look for him when she heard footsteps coming from behind her. When she turned around,she saw Nikolas with two wine glasses in his hand. He gave Emily a passionate kiss and escorted her to the table he had set up for them.

"This is beautiful," she said.

"Think of it as a gift to the most beautiful angel in the world," he said.

Emily gave Nikolas a big smile and the two began to dine.

**Jason's Home**

Sam was packing the remainder of her things for her trip. She couldn't believe she was really leaving. She knew she needed to leave,but it was harder than she thought. She had developed feelings for Jason,but she knew she had to let him go. When she was done packing,she left. She left a note for Jason and Sonny,grabbed her things,and headed for the airport.

**Airport**

Sam was getting on her plane to California. As she sat down in her seat she looked out her window and sighed.

"Good-bye Port Charles," she said,under her breath.

She turned her view away from the window,and wiped a tear drop that had fallen from her eyes.

**The Pier**

"Courtney," Jason said,"I've been keeping something from you since our divorce."

"What are you saying," she asked,slighty confused.

"I know you're with Jax now,but...I still love you."

Courtney couldn't believe it. She had been waiting for those words for so long,and now she finally got to hear them. SHe knew she would be hurting Jax,but she loved Jason too much to let him go again.

"I love you,too," she said.

Jason smiled a really big smile,and pulled her into a deep,passionate kiss with no wish or hopes of ver letting go again.

**The End.**

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**AN: Don't forget to drop me a review!!**


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